On Calvary

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

Oh, to be called a child of God…..can your soul even bare it; I’m assured your heart can’t contain it.

I’m undone today, completely…recklessly.  Undone by the sacrifice of Christ to save my soul and offer me, a wretch of a woman, adoption….offer me reconciliation…..offer me covenant.

How!?  My God, how?!

Tears falling fresh today from a deeper place than just down my cheeks.  Tears falling from my soul.

I’m rendered speechless by my attempts to shout at the top of my lungs, “Halleluiah!” and then only days later be among those screaming “Crucify!”……Today I whisper a broken halleluiah….”Hosanna in the Highest save me, the least of these…Oh beloved Jehovah, save me…”

I have thought of a million images of Jesus through a “holy imagination” today.  My favorite images of my Jesus…

Thoughts of Him laughing on the beaches as He fellowshipped with the disciples.

Thoughts of His face bent low towards the woman that reached through the crowds simple to touch the hem of His garment.

Thoughts of His eyes glistening with the sting of death…tears falling, weeping for Lazarus and ultimately for us.  For brokenness.

His Bloody body reaching to Heaven with His eyes fixed on the Father and proclaiming with Great Might, “summatum est!”

“It is finished.” Indeed, dear Jesus….death is indeed FINISHED…..and Life BEGINS…oh, what Love?!…what Grace?!…  Again, I’m undone.

This post is a collection of raw emotions today…..honestly those that have put together emotions on a day like today seems robotic to me…..I don’t have a robotic bone in my body.

My flesh weak and shattered is wound tight around the chaos of the Cross today.

My soul is standing beneath the shadow of the Cross as Blood and Water splash with great force over my sin encrusted being.  I am among those that watched the whole gruesome battle of Christ’s death and I am speechless at the weight of broken Body and poured out Drink.  I am among the Roman soldiers that are fallen to earth in abandonment to THE King…..the force of salvation pushes me prostrate.

And I…I am satisfied.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” Matthew 5:6

Our Compassion child, Jamesley, bleeds alongside those aching from physical hunger.  The conditions he strives among leave me wordless and aching alongside him worlds away from his everyday reality…….and yet he is greatly satisfied, as am I in our strivings TOGETHER to Calvary…..

…..and singing.  Oh, Jamesley is singing and his singing is ringing in my ears and reverberating to my heart, shaking my soul today…….

The day we met Jamesley, every verse of “On Calvary” rattled from his bones and proclaimed with voice that I can hardly find amongst my comforts and ease…..and yet as a most favored and beloved child of God, Jamesley proclaims with incredible effortlessness each note….

“Years I spent in vanity and pride,

Caring not my Lord was crucified,

Knowing not it was for me He died

On Calvary.

Refrain:

Mercy there was great, and grace was free;

Pardon there was multiplied to me;

There my burdened soul found liberty

At Calvary.

By God’s Word at last my sin I learned;

Then I trembled at the law I’d spurned,

Till my guilty soul imploring turned

To Calvary.

Now I’ve giv’n to Jesus everything,

Now I gladly own Him as my King,

Now my raptured soul can only sing

Of Calvary!

Oh, the love that drew salvation’s plan!

Oh, the grace that brought it down to man!

Oh, the mighty gulf that God did span

At Calvary!”

Oh, the MIGHTY GULF that God did span at Calvary!  Beloved, God fiercely bridged the gap for you with a love that is incomprehendable.  Why delay coming under the Lordship of that kind of mindless insane Love….pure without limitations…offered freely to you?  Oh, that Christ’s Love would blow threw the caverns of your soul!  Do not delay….but run with all your being and collide with Grace.

Glory invade our spaces today – showcase your Light through our brokenness.  Grant us a song that shakes the earth around us.  Wake us, our spirits are willing but our flesh is weak….be salvation today, our dear and Mighty Jesus, be our complete and total salvation….be the triumph of our every hope for Victory.

With all my heart I love you.

 

 

Comments

  1. Sarah Wiginton says:

    Oh what a glorious Savior! I am undone-wrecked by His grace his sacrifice. Your words are precious. You seem to always say what it so deep in my soul!! I love you!

  2. Cari wow! I just found this, it brings tears to my eyes. I love it! I also loved seeing your face and hearing the sound of your voice as you laughed and danced along with Jamesley as he sang for you. Oh the joy thank you for sharing it! God bless you my friend!

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